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Shocking, I know, but what can you do? It’s just possible that your offspring might not be the very best footballer or scholar. The school has to manage all the children, including the ones who aren’t yours. Complaining that she didn’t get the lead in the nativity play, or that he’s not captain of the football team, is pointless because you don’t know how other children are doing. Try to remember that your child is not the only student in the school.

Let’s look at some ways and means of making your point effectively to a school. But don’t expect Johnny to win any more “Star of the Week” certificates.

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If you don’t want a positive relationship with your child’s school, then feel free to go and tell the headteacher exactly what you think of the colour of his new academy chain-sponsored Ferrari, and the fact that he only seems to be employing sixth-formers as teachers. After all, how would you want a teacher to approach your child’s mistakes: “Try doing it this way next time”, or “You got it wrong, you incompetent git”? That requires a little more reason and a little less shouting. You’re trying to get something to change. You’re not complaining to get someone into grief, satisfying though that may seem at times. If that doesn’t help, just don’t lose sight of your objective.

They’re the sign of minds missing their meeting, and they’ll do nothing for your relationship with your child’s teacher. So how best to go about complaining to a school? Like all institutions, though, schools do occasionally cock things up, and the fact that it’s their child on the receiving end can make parents hotter under the collar than they would be about a bit of overdone steak. Think carefully before putting on your Mr Angry face and marching into the school for a spot of ranting